EXPECTATION OF PARENTS FROM THEIR CHILDREN.
TOPIC: EXPECTATION OF PARENTS FROM THEIR CHILDREN.
INTRODUCTION: Who is a Child? According to Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary: A Child is a person who is strongly influenced by the ideas and attitudes of a particular time or person.”
The Child is the hope, future, continuity line of the home. Without the child, hope of a future generation or even raising next generation will be a fruitless venture.
STAGES OF DEVELOPMENT OF A CHILD
(1) Cradle: This child development is from the embryo to 5 years.
(2) Infancy: Are children from 6 years to 12 years
(3) Adolescence: Is the stage of the development of a child from 13 years to 18 years.
EXPECTATIONS OF PARENTS FROM THEIR CHILDREN
Following the stages of development of a child which are classified into cradle, infancy and adolescence, therefore our discussion of the expectation of parents from their children will be penciled down on the stages of development of a child.
(A) EXPECTATION OF PARENTS FROM CRADLE
Psychologically, the new born child is neither moral nor immoral, but amoral. Therefore, the following below are the morals and expectations highly desirable by the cradle age child.
(i) Purity: – A Cradle is to practice self-denial and self-control. To shield them from contaminating influence, parents must instruct them on the principles of purity.
This principle is achieved through the following:
-Exercising unceasing watchfulness
- Erecting barriers against sensuality
- Guarding the associations of the child
- Keeping the home neat and attractive
- Filling the mind with images of purity
(ii) Simplicity:- The Cradle age child should be educated in natural simplicity. The more quiet and simple the life of the child, the freer from artificial excitement. The more in harmony with nature, the more favourable it is to physical and mental vigour and to spiritual strength.
Lack of educating a child in natural simplicity exposes the child to frivolous challenges like:
-Heavy interest in attractive outward adorning
- Foster the love of praise and appreciation, sympathy and encouragement
- Interested in expensive diet and dressing
- False idea of the secret of true charm
- Exhibiting seeds of vanity
(iii) Obedience: – This is very necessary in children because a cradle has an attentive ear to hear the words of direction, a willing feet and hands to walk and work in the path of duty, thus greatness and firmness is achieved.
(iv) Cheerfulness and Thankfulness: – In ministry of Healing (page 386-387) states “parents, let the sunshine of love, cheerfulness and happy contentment enter your hearts; let its sweet, cheering influence pervade your home. Manifest a kindly, forbearing spirit and encourage the same in your children, cultivating all the grace that will brighten the home life. The atmosphere thus created will be to the children what air and sunshine are to the vegetable world, promoting health and vigorous mind and body.”
To achieve this the following are necessary: -
- Let the parents countenance be cheerful
- Parents should speak pleasant and cheery words.
- Parents should encourage a happy frame of mind on the child
- Teach children to be grateful
(v) Loving: – A cradle is to practice love as stated in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 “Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. If you love someone you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.” (The Living Bible).
(B) EXPECTATIONS OF PARENTS FROM AN INFANT
The expectations of parents from infants are stated thus:-
(i) Though obedience to parents and authourities should be inculcated in cradle, yet it should be cultivated in infancy stage. Obedience is taught by subduing of will and temper of the child and bringing its disposition into subjection.
(ii) Undue noise and turbulence:- Let quietness reign in the home. Parents should repress undue noise and turbulence.
(iii) Respect among fellow children:- Parents laxity encourages disrespect among the children. Therefore parents should teach their children to respect their fellow children’s will and actions.
(iv) Careful handling of properties:- they should be taught the careful handling of properties like glasses, school uniform, plates and so on.
(v) Health Education Principles: – Health education principles should be taught like washing of the body and teeth, sweeping and clearing of the environment, emphasizing that cleanliness is a source of good health.
(vi) Cultivating order and good habits:- The child should be taught to cultivate order and good habits. As parents, guardians and teachers of children are bound to do everything in the home and school with orderliness and diligence. Remember in heaven there is no disorder, therefore our homes should be a modest heaven on earth.
(vii) Being neat and allowing clean environment:- Every family is required to be trained in the habit of neatness, cleanliness and thoroughness. Children at this age should take care of their less expensive cloths, washing and keeping their own room tidy, emphasizing that cleanliness is next to Godliness.
(viii) Ability to know that there is time for everything; time to eat, play, read, watch television or video and so on.
(ix) Infants should be taught to be helpful to people in need, not only their relations but also their schoolmates, church members and elderly ones.
(x) Desire and acts of working:- Parents should impress upon the mind of the infant that labour is a noble gesture, that was ordained to man by God.
(xi) Being diligence and perseverance to duties:- Infants should be taught diligence and perseverance because much satisfaction is derived in completing a task. If this is not addressed the child (or children) acquire habit of indolence even in later life.
(xii) Lessons of Self-denial and selfishness:- this should be taught and practiced among the infant children. Many children have inherited selfishness from their parents, but parents should seek to uproot every fibre of this evil tendency from their nature.
(xiii) Economy and thrift should be taught the Infant Child. This eliminates extravagant habit, learning to economize and value of keeping accounts and saving money.
(C) EXPECTATIONS OF PARENTS FROM AN ADOLESCENT
(i) Should not involve in sexual relationship:- A child at this age should be taught that sexual intercourse is a good game for married adults and is dignified by God. An adolescent’s involvement in sex is sin before the Lord God Almighty. Besides, there are health and social consequences for not heeding parental advice.
(ii) Being prepared to face persecution and ridicules:- An adolescent is reputed and justified by parents when he/she is seen at this stage prepared and ready to face persecution and ridicule, both among his/her peers and by the challenges of life.
(iii) Eagerness to acquire knowledge should be desired for knowledge instills skills in the child. This will prepare the child for future challenges of life.
(iv) He/She who never desired to be with bad gangs knowing that it could lead to lots of evil like ? taking of hard drugs, drinking of alcohol, sexual intercourse etc. therefore, an adolescent child should not sit or stand with friends or relatives who practice these evils because evil communications corrupt good manners.
(v) Having decent dressing codes:- Normal or decent dressing codes should be taught the adolescent in order to prepare him/her for better life in future.
(vi) Avoid Profiteering: – Acquisition of money through profiteering should be highlighted. Profiteering being the act of making a lot of money in an unfair way.
(vii) Evils of secret cult should be taught and emphasized especially, where most of the secret societies are boldly telling the world that they are not secret societies but an association of like minds.
(viii) Presently, internet viewing, cyber-cafe, video, television watching and listen to radio and tapes should be guided to avoid wrong influence inherent in them.
Conclusion: – A good child is expected to exhibit morality in behaviour and actions at every stage of life.